Dear Journal,

Many marcs ago High Cleric Elijah The Holy walked into Dundee Inn. He spoke of an apparition or a vision of Former High King Deek. He thinks it means something. But he doesn't think it's a cause of concern.

Oh, I was so darn nervous...it was the first time someone of his status came into the inn when I was there and I wasn't sure how to act. I kept on biting my lip or fiddling with my hair and all that - I wasn't even wearing my armour! What had he thought of me? That I'm some little girl who shouldn't even be in these lands? Darn, Ermin - try being more noble next time.

Noble. I won't be noble any longer. But maybe it's all for the better - I'm not a very noble person.

Love,

Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

We had a party today...it was...it was fun. But now my head is full of my parents and everything and... (a tear stains here) I must try to be strong. Be strong, Ermin...

Let me say what happened...

I went to Dundee inn and dear Skyls was there...I invited him to go with me to our party. He said that if there wasn't any party, we could take a walk...but it happened that there was, so we went and I made a silly fool of myself with the directions.

And then...we swam...we danced...and Skyls danced with Freya, and I have to admit I got a bit jealous. I'm very fond of Skyls - I don't love him like I love Trip...but...well, I don't love him like I love Trip, but I'm very fond of him.

And then, Arya and Agua sang songs which triggered my past and Alyssa caught me crying in the Meadow. We came back and the party was over...Skyls and everyone was gone.

Be strong, Ermin...be strong...

Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

Here I am lying on the beach at the Amazonian guildhall, relaxing...the waves washing over my feet...the sand gritty against my hair...the air brushing against my cheeks like a soft caress...

Lying here tells me that I was right to join ACV. Very right, indeed. I look up at the moon and the stars and a love for all my friends, for Trip, for my guild, for Valorn - for everything boils in the pit of my stomach. I want nothing more than to just be with them, lying on this beach and gazing at the night sky.

I prop myself up onto my elbows and look around this resort. It's so heavenly! There is a pavilion and a bar with vine and grapes carved on it...little octagon stools...a dance floor...hammocks...leather couches...with candles...and such a beautiful crystal chandelier! Cushions for the High Queen, a fire pit with benches and a some furs...a pool made by a hot spring with bubbles floating up from the bottom of a deep basin...and water stone benches! I mean, really! This is my new sleeping spot!

Life here in Valorn is so wonderfu_____________________________

(a line leads off the page as Ermin falls asleep on the sand, water washing over her gritty feet)

YES! I'M AN AMAZON NOW! (an excited and hyperactive squiggle here shows just how happy Ermin is feeling inside)

Oof....I just didn't want to screech like a poisoned monkey in front of Glan, so I wanted to write this down. Heh.

After signing the form, I spent the rest of my time in the guildhall talking with Asrai and Alyssa - and being misguided by Asrai...heh, just a joke! South and east...or was it west?...no, it was east. Haha.

So I fell asleep in the House of Staffs, woke in it, made my way over here to Dundee inn and voila - I'm talking with Glan.

Love,

Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

I remember the day Trip and I got together...I had written a poem, the last line talking of how there is always someone whose shoulder I can cry on...he asked me who it was...he kept on asking...I refused to reply - I stubbornly said I didn't want him to know. He continued to ask, therefore I told him it was the man he knew the best. He started to ask if it was someone...then he said no, it couldn't be. Frustrated, I gave him the man's initials. He told me he would like a direct answer. I told him it was him. The silence was kept. I told him I did not know what to make of the silence. Smiling, he passed me a note that said that if he had written the poem, it would have been about me.

Though I fell off my chair then, my heart soared. That is the day so long ago that we got together...



Someday I will die like my parents. Whether it be young or whether it be old, I will never be ready for it. I will be too busy trying to smile at the world, trying to show everyone I've still got the spring in my step...

...yet I know my illness is alike of my parents'. But I will fulfill my life first. I will try to stay true to Skyls' words - try to pretend that Valorn will make it go away...but isn't Valorn just another place? An illness can follow me there. It can follow me anywhere.

I think of my friends...

I think of my past...

How I ran away from home and came back when I was 15 summers old to hear that my parents had died the same night I had ran away. My friends took me away to Valorn...they tried to show me the joy of life...I went with two of my closest friends to Dundee when I was 17 summers old...I spent a delightful summer with them...then a raid in Dundee...and both died... (a tear stains here) And now, 18 summers old, I strive to rid the world of evil and tragedy. Will I really succeed?

I must wipe away my tears and live life to the fullest...

Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

Back to zombie-hunting! Off to a good start, too... (there is an energetic scribble here)

Well - I bought this nice shell pendant quite a long time ago to give to Agua Verde, a dear friend of mine. A bit recently, I told Skylsganin of my illness and my weakness, and he said the illness couldn't beat me here. That touched my heart so much I thanked him and gave him the shell pendant that I had been saving for Agua. I hope he liked it...Skyls means the world to me. He's such a dear friend...

Gremlins invading Dundee Bathrooms...egoistic Zombie Adventurers thinking they can beat me...what is this world coming to?

Love,

Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

The Clan of the Shrouded Bunnies has a new bunny. Guilds, guilds, guilds, hm? I hope I can become an Amazon...Skyls said that he'll keep on prodding Asrai until she lets me in...heh.

I'm feeling so much better, though my stomach still feels weak. I just feeling like skipping out into the open air and screaming, "I'M WELL AGAIN!"

Just like a screeching, poisoned monkey, hm?

Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

With a heavy heart I shan't reveal to Skyls or anyone around me I write this. Even though my illness seems to have passed, I feel weaker than before...I hope this is temporary.

I just wish everything would stay like this...in the cosy inn...with a person that stands as a close friend to me...

...may the Gods bless this beautiful marc.

Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

I visited Virgil the Holy in his temple as I felt slightly better than last time I wrote. I was happy to know that I could walk out into the night. If I had walked out in daytime, the sunlight would have probably caused me to faint or something similar. But as Sir Virgil healed me, I feel a bit better.

I must apologise to Seph for the inconvenience as soon as we cross paths again...

Ermin xxx

(these words are carelessly written, no tears seem to have been shed)

I see the lady who tried to help me. She sleeps now. I will not disturb her - I just wish to know who she is and where she came from.

(there are some doodles as if Ermin was trying to draw the person, but was unable to)

(a trace of a tear stains the page here)

Dear Journal,

(the words here are written oddly in a rather messy way) I'm so worried, my dear journal...have I been affected by the plague? I fell ill today...I still do not feel well...I caused so much trouble for Sephoroth...and some pretty brown-skinned stranger with an accent that I don't remember...I was vaguely awake and saw her in my dreams...what be her name? I owe her so much!

(more tears stain here) Please don't let me die like my parents...please let this be just my unhealthy habits...please...

(there is a rabid crossing-out here, more tears and the page has been torn slightly as if she pushed it away roughly)

Dear Journal,

Oof! Drat those zombies! Bleh...

This one little lady...of the most heartless people...met me in the inn today and hinted at getting me a lemonade. She annoys me...she makes absolutely no sense when she talks, and when I asked her beg pardon, she talked to me as if I was 3. Thank God Skyls spoke back at her...

(something here is crossed out - the person's name perhaps)

Lemonade, friends and the knowledge that everyone is fine. Everytime the World Crier announces that everything is fine...it drapes a veil of calmness and peace over my troubled soul. It makes me take a deep breath and smile. Everything is as it should be.

God Bless Valorn,

Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

Close to my heart,
I hold you dear,
If I ever fall,
And ever shed a tear,
You will always be there,
To save me from my fall,
And I will gaze up unto your eyes,
And know any secret I can share.

A poem, dear journal. I felt like writing it.

The drawing to the left of this page lies like a thin strip, like a ribbon, down the page. Like a bookmark. It is drawing of me back when I was young - of 16 summers, I believe? Back at home...

...it was done by a friend. A close friend...nearly a sister, mayhaps. I find it hard to remember. I try very hard not to remember my past. But I find this little drawing in my pack. Mayhaps it's a sign of luck - a good omen.

A memory unforgotten,
A memory painfully remembered,
A memory begotten,
A memory dismembered...
A memory of love,
A memory of fear,
A memory of anger,
And a memory of a single tear...

Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

No new drawings today. Maybe next time?

I bought a new dress...and a Gladius. For the time when I am no longer considered a Noble, hm? I don't think I could bare to be seen with Samael's Training Sword at my tenth level!

The dress is pink with purple trim...fits me and my colour tastes, personally.

I'm at Dundee inn...no-one I'm necessarily close to is here, so I'm just silently writing in you, dear journal. After this...I may fetch a drink off Cerbies' and mayhap go back to training afterwards...

...what a dreary life.

Trip be asking me what those notches on Ryann's weapon mean. I told him, rather coolly, but not to him. I wonder how many women Ryann has his eyes set on? Was I just part of the crowd? That injures my dignity quite a bit.

I hope he doesn't read this.

With much love,

Ermin xxx

That, dear journal, is another one of my wretched drawings. I seem to have developped some kind of...love? For drawings. It is inspiring...calms my soul...like a cool wave washing away all my worries...

...but then again, that is just me. Probably everyone else will think I'm crazy if they ever find out!

Oh yes and I talked to Agua about joining the Amazonian Clans of Valorn. She is an Officer there, so I thought it would help by and by. I can't wait to talk to Asrai or Arlanna...whichever one is going to be High Queen by the time I join.

Lots of love,

Ermin xxx

A drawing I did of myself...you may think I'm very vain, but many times studying the water in the women's restroom, I have come to know what I look like. I doubt my judgement, though.

Ermin xxx

(these words looked like they were added in later, as they the ink looks more shiny and a great line has been scratched between her name and the next line)

_____________________________________________________________

I forgot to say! Trip has given me a beautiful promise ring...it overwhelmed me so much my stomach grew all butterfly-ey, so I had to tell him I didn't feel well and excuse myself. Not a very nice way to end a romantic moment, no, but...I hope he liked the diamond ring I gave him!

Dear Journal,

Darn me! I can't tell a man from a woman! GROWL.

Haha, yes, other than that...I've advanced in skill a bit more since I last wrote...I've saw Trip once today, but I think he was dozing...Ryann confessed his sincerest feelings to me...yes, everything has been very eventful.

Starting with my training - I have switched from the pretty forest into the mucky zombie terror. I also came back with the Amulet of Evilsbane after my mentor Eesha guided me down there. Very nice, yes?

As for seeing Trip today - he didn't see me, but sent me a note. We both miss each other. I'm glad he's showing his face a bit more in Valorn again.

As for Ryann's feelings - I fear I put another notch on his...on his something. Heh, I can't remember what it is - but it was pretty depressing. He knows I'm in love with Trip, so...it is complicated.

That's all for now...oh, and Eesha stained my toga dress with mud! I know...so embarrassing...

Love,

Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

Hahhh...I must not slack off training any longer. Herosci has beaten me. GROWL.

When is Trip going to come to the inn? I miss him - I really do.

Eesha is threatening me that he's going to pick up some mud from the Dundee swamps and dirty my toga dress with it. And I'm in the Dundee inn, so if he has a stroke of luck, he just might succeed. He'll have to catch me first, though.

That's all for now,

Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

Good God, why is love so complicated? I think Ryann has developed something sweet on me. Meaning, I think he likes me. And I think that made Trip mad, because he won't believe that we're just friends. Well...Ryann gave me this garnet ring, and I think Trip heard about it one way or another. GROWL.

Right now I've found something interesting...Az and Skyls seem to be having a rough patch. Az is trying to make up with him, Skyls doesn't seem ready to do so. Drama, drama.

I'm slacking off training nowadays. Then I picked up on it yesterday. Basically, I have nothing to right.

Good day,

(A weary) Ermin xxx

Dear Journal,

I finally heard from Trip. He thinks a ferry ride sounds nice. I haven't actually been able to catch him in person, though....

Here I am, sitting in the Dundee inn, drinking lemonade, though the mug is now empty. I should get going...but yet, I don't wish to leave this cosy little place. Let's see, we have Kracky, Skylsganin, Ryann Forestre, Kasi...all sorts. Adin just left - he was being very grumpy.

I don't know what else to say.

Love,

Ermin xxx